You Are Braver Than You Think

Mary Ruth Cross, MFT, NCC, RPT-S

No one will complain that 2020 has ended; with all it’s chaos, stress and turmoil most of are breathing a sigh of relief that perhaps now we can move forward into a new year with new possibilities.  Is it really possible to move forward after all that happened in 2020? 

It can seem an insurmountable task to think positively and to find gratitude for the lessons that came along the way.  One important reminder in all of this is to show us how resilient we are.  In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, the political turmoil, social justice issues and natural disasters that occurred we did not shrink away and hide.  We got creative and found new ways to connect, work and play. We found we could be resilient.  What does it mean to be resilient? 

Does it mean that we put aside our feelings and just push through without regard for the feelings? Does it mean that one can’t complain or wonder why there is so much chaos and suffering going on?  The answers to these questions is an emphatic NO!

The mindset of resiliency is about adapting and growing in response to loss, trauma and painful life experiences.  Through research we have seen that in order to have the greatest adaptation to these events is centered in our believes and behaviors that we then see as the roadmap  on how to proceed through the challenges.  By integrating resiliency strategies we are better able to:

  • Turn towards the supportive presence of a caring community
  • Listen to others who are grieving and benefit by learning how they are feeling and coping
  • Recognize that by pacing your process you are able to navigate through painful and overwhelming feelings
  • Find strength and courage once again
  • Stay open to life knowing that loss and painful events happen

The overall result is being able to remain positive and hopeful when things are looking their most dire.  Having hope and a positive attitude has been shown to improve overall mental health and quality of life.    It gives us the power to say “I’ll keep on trying” when things seem too hard. 

By focusing on the things we can be grateful for reminds us that although this time is challenging it is not permanent and there are things to learned and remember in the process that help us to grow and learn about ourselves, family, friends, community and life in general.  We are in a constant flow of change and growth.  As we get a new, fresh start for this coming year I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Winnie-the-Pooh:

At Treehouse Family Counseling Services we help you and your family to be all that you can be with good mental health.  Call us today if you are struggling with finding hope and resiliency, you are not alone.